10 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People

The vast majority of people will do anything to avoid conflict in both their professional or personal lives.

However, there comes a time when it falls to you to deal with a difficult co-worker, employee, supplier

or customer. Approached the right way, dealing with a "difficult” person can be quite rewarding.

Chances are nobody wants to deal with them in the first place so you could really help make a positive

change in the workplace.


The following are some tips to help you:

1. Change their title
   
   
   When you think of the person in question, refer to them as "challenging” and not "difficult”. You will
   
   find that very few people are deliberately poor communicators. Have faith in your own communicative
   
   skills and realize that not everybody will be easy to deal with.
   
   
   



2. Take a step back
   
   
   It’s easy to make quick assumptions that a person is "difficult” without finding out the reasons why. An
   
   example could be a customer calling to complain loudly a delivery is one-day late. This seems slightly
   
   
   irrational but further examination could reveal they are waiting for a replacement for a defective model.
   
   



3. Practice Your Response
   
   
   If can step back from the situation, try to practice your response and put yourself in the other person’s
   
   position. Think about their likely responses and plan for them.



4. Try for an agreement
   
   
   It will help your situation if you are able to agree with the other person. You might not agree with their
   
   opinion of version of events, but you should be able to agree that a problem exists. Once you agree
   
   upon something it helps build rapport and provides a base for solving the overall problem. Use positive
   
   terms and let them know what you are able to do rather than cannot do.
   
   



5. Ask for and explore alternatives
   
   
   Never enter a situation thinking there is no hope for a resolution. Don’t be afraid of asking "What is it
   
   you would like to see happen?” or "Tell me, what can I do to improve the situation?” Try to have a few
   
   alternative solutions planned. Even if the person rejects them, it provides a starting point.



6. Speak in Private
   
   
   If you are dealing with a challenging person might be better to deal with them in private. The very fact
   
   a problem is being discussed in front of others could be one of the reasons that make them hard to deal
   
   with in the first place. Some people have a completely different personality when you get them on their
   
   own.



7. Use "I” Phrases
   
   
   Using I phrases allows people to try and understand the impact of their actions on you. For
   
   example, "You should…”, "You must…” "You could…” will likely make them defensive. Better alternatives
   
   are: "I feel you should…”, "I think it’s better if you…”and are more likely to help reach an agreement.



8. Don’t Take Things Personally
   
   
   It might be difficult, but try not to take the conflict personally. Try to separate yourself from the issue.
   
   More often than not, there are other factors (such as problems at home, previous bad experiences, and
   
   sometimes office politics!) affecting the situation.



9. Take a Breather
   
   
   If tempers are becoming frayed suggest taking a breather for 20 minutes or so in order to collect
   
   thoughts and re-approach the problem with a cooler head.



10. Check for Understanding
    
    
    Always ask questions of the other person, listen to their response, (briefly) paraphrase their answers
    
    and check for understanding. If you engage the other person it is far more likely you can both work out
    
    a successful resolution to the problem or conflict. It is amazing how many problems in the workplace are
    
    caused by simple misunderstandings.

So whether is the area of people management or customer care we have to apply the above tips in each given situation.